Peru is ridiculous sometimes

Peru is a beautiful country with warm-hearted, wonderful people, and I would recommend that anyone with the time and resources visit this country. That said, there are times when Peru is ridiculous. Here are some examples, handily broken down into categories:

The people

1. The combi lady

The combis in Lima are small minivans packed to the gills with people, regardless of the hour. The cries of "Avanzen al fondo! Avanzen por favor!" ("Move back") mix with the smell of twenty people's sweat and the blaring of horns. One evening, I was quite squished and noticed a lady with about 2 feet of room behind her. I politely asked her to move back, to which she rudely replied, "I'm getting off soon. Go around." Unfortunately, that was quite impossible and I spent a very uncomfortable rest of the ride. My stop was 15 minutes away, and I still got off before her. Sadly, this attitude is not uncommon in Lima.

2.  The parents

Peruvians drink a LOT of soft drinks. This is a problem in and of itself, but what shocked me is the number of small children I've seen being given soft drinks - at night, in the morning, in the baby bottle, when they're crying, when they're happy. It's quite a sight to see a baby sipping electric-yellow cola from a baby bottle. Yikes.

3.  The driver

The ride from Huanta to Ayacucho is about an hour by colectivo (small van). Our large backpacks were thrown into the bin on top, and the driver assured us that they would be securely tied down. (They had been the last time.) The van began to move, and neither Brian nor I could remember him tying anything. So I asked the driver if they had been tied down. He says, "Yeah, yeah, don't worry." Hm. About 10 minutes later, Brian frantically shouted at the driver to stop the van (in Spanish) as I saw half my backpack hanging over the side! Luckily, the whole van was on our side, and we were able to strap them to the bin and reprimand the driver.

Animals on buses

1.You brought what on board? (pt. 1)

Well, this is the only one in this category, but I have seen a llama being shoved kicking into the cargo bin under the bus, a kitten on the winding, 13-hour mountain road from Ayacucho to Abancay, and a FERRET that (thankfully) got on a different bus than mine. I can only imagine.

Transportation

1. You brought what on board? (pt. 2)

Winding mountain roads. Open paint cans. They don't mix.

2. The bait and switch

We arrived in Andahuaylas at 3 A.M. and were waiting for our second bus at 6:30 to Abancay. AT 4:45, a bus pulls up and the man on duty shouts "Cusco! Cusco, 6:30!" Confused, everyone looks around, looks at each other, and asks the man about five more times if this is correct. He assures us it is. So, we begin the process of getting everyone loaded, which takes a long time because everyone here carries TONS of stuff and somehow can't seem to understand that seat 16 is not, indeed, seat 17. Finally, after all the fuss, the man boards the bus and says we all have to get off because he made a mistake and this is the wrong bus. So, we get off the bus, repeat the process on the next bus, and board, only to discover that IT'S THE EXACT SAME TYPE OF BUS. Both buses in the terminal at the same time. Both of the same type. Why did we have to switch? Because Peru is ridiculous sometimes.

What a day!

Yesterday was definitely the most eventful day I've had in Peru so far. I witnessed a robbery, got pooped on twice, got tricked by a sneaky Peruvian, and blew a surprise, all in one day. It all began when I was walking to meet a friend at her NGO job to chitchat for a bit. As I was walking along the beautiful green park, watching the dogs lolling in the grass, listening to the birdsong, feeling very peaceful and in tune with nature, I felt a drop of rain on my arm. ...Except that there wasn't a cloud in sight. I looked down at my arm to see a nice fat fresh circle of bird poop. So much for in tune with nature.

After leaving my friend, I was on my way to meet another friend, Jorge,  who has been showing me around the city and not letting me pay for a thing. Waiting at the station, I saw a man selling jerseys, and since there is a Peru - Chile game today, I thought it would be nice to get him one. I asked the man very specifically for a player from La U, not Alianza. Those are two clubs with a famous rivalry, and Jorge is a diehard U fan. The vendor very kindly pointed out two players from La U and suggested a famous one, Farfan. So I bought that one and, very happy with my surprise, waiting for a good moment to surprise my friend.

Fast forward an hour or two, and the subject of the game comes up while we're sitting in a cafe. Excited, I pull out the jersey and show him. His face lights up when he sees the jersey, but when I show him the back, his smile freezes in place. Uh oh. Turns out, Farfan plays for Alianza. I can just see that vendor laughing to himself for pulling one over on the gringa. To top it all off, on the way back from the cafe, yet another pigeon poops on my bag and my foot: extra points for getting a two-for-one.

After the cafe, we went to the Parque de Las Aguas to see the water show and fountains there. At the entrance, I saw two men running at top speed. For a split second, I thought they were fooling around, until I saw the iPhone clutched in the first guy's hand and the look on the second guy's face. They hurdled the entrance, both getting entangled in the chain before regaining their footing, and sped off down the block. I still don't know if they got the guy, but since there were five cop cars in the vicinity, I sure hope they did.

After all the events of the day, I was relaxing in Jorge's house with some of his friends, drinking a few beers. While Jorge went into the kitchen, I was chatting with his friend Carlos, who's getting married soon. I turned to him and said, "So tomorrow's your bachelor party, huh?" He looked at me with a blank face and replied, "Oh really? I didn't know." Then Jorge came running out, saying, "It was going to be a surprise!" Whoops.