Getting Married in Peru: The Wedding!

What a week! I am now a married woman, since Jorge and I tied the knot last Thursday. It was a wonderful week, if a bit stressful, and some part of me still can't believe that I'm married.

We had a civil ceremony, which is the Peruvian equivalent of getting married at City Hall. The difference is that here, everyone is required by law to get married at the City Hall, and then you can have a religious ceremony if you want. Most Peruvians have a simple civil ceremony, and then have the big religious wedding at a later time when they can afford to throw the kind of party they want. Some couples put this off so long that to me it really seems like more of a renewal of vows (after 5 years you can hardly call it a wedding surely), but to each his own I guess. Jorge and I aren't planning to wait that long!

It was great to have my mom, my sister and my brother in town for the wedding . Even though it was a busy few days, we managed to get some tourism in and eat at some great restaurants. The night before the ceremony, all the friends and family went out for drinks so everybody could meet each other before the actual wedding. Unbeknownst to us, the next day was Pisco Sour day, so there was a film crew at the bar and they interviewed me. So, in addition to getting married, that weekend was my Peruvian TV debut. (Please don't look it up.)

The morning of the wedding, the ladies had our hair and makeup done in the hotel and then it was off to get married! Our wedding was at 2 in the afternoon so it was peak sun time. The poor men, including my dear husband, were suffering in their suits, and I wasn't faring much better even in my knee-length dress. We had the photo shoot before the wedding, so Jorge and I went off to have pictures taken while our guests chatted.

Finally, we all went into the 'marriage hall' where there was a desk and four chairs at the front of the room for the bride and groom and their witnesses. The chairs had their back facing the guests which I found kind of strange. The ceremony itself was short and sweet, and consisted of the officiant reading the articles of Peru's constitution pertaining to the rights and responsibilities that go along with marriage. It's some pretty romantic stuff. Then we all had to sign the marriage documents and we were married! We decided to exchange rings and read our own vows in order to make the ceremony more personal - definitely my favorite part. The whole thing lasted between five and ten minutes, and then it was time for the toast!

After about a million more pictures and some champagne, we all went to a restaurant to eat. At this point, due to the heat, the anticipation and excitement of the day, and the fact that I hadn't eaten since breakfast, I was about ready to keel over from hunger and exhaustion. After we had a delicious meal and a cold beer, it was time to say goodbye to the guests and go back to the hotel. I shared a cab with my family to their hotel while Jorge followed in a separate taxi - only four people can fit in one cab, at least for long rides. We hung out a bit there and looked at pictures, and then Jorge and I made our way to the hotel we had reserved for that night to take a catnap before dinner. The hotel was really fancy - thanks Groupon for making that happen.

All in all, a successful wedding! It was great to finally meet Jorge's family and to be able to show my family around a little bit. It would have been nice to have my father and my brother Tom in town, but that's the rub when you get married so far away from home.

I couldn't be more excited to start my life together with the amazing man I married. In fact, I'm so excited that I'm going to stop writing this and go and tell him again how happy I am with him.

Getting Married in Peru: Paperwork and Preparations

 Jorge and I got married last Thursday! It was a simple ceremony, but the whole thing was really nice especially because my family was able to come down for it. But I'm getting ahead of myself - the next post will be about the actual wedding, but this post is about the paperwork side of things.

Getting married in Peru is surprisingly easy compared to other official government processes. In terms of paperwork, it's much less burdensome than getting your carnet de extranjería (residence permit), requiring fewer documents and fewer steps overall. And the greatest part is, you don't have to pay anything at the Banco de la Nación, Peru's central bank that always has lines around the block. That said, nothing in Peru is ever easy peasy lemon squeezy, and we did have a few hiccups before finally sorting everything out.

Finally, making things official!

Every district has slightly different requirements, but here were the requirements for Surco:

1. Official birth certificate, issued in the last three months and apostilled (if you are from a country that is a Hague Convention signer)
2. Certificado de soltería, or a sworn statement of singlehood. You can get this from the U.S. Embassy (and pay a bundle) or in the U.S. county where you have permanent residence. If it's the latter, then it also has to be apostilled. I believe this also has to be less than three months old.
3. The two documents above must be translated by an official translator licensed by the Ministerio de Relaciones Exteriores (Ministry of Foreign Affairs), then taken to the Ministerio to get the translation 'legalized'. (I guess they don't trust their own translators?)

Here's a list of official translators by district: http://www.rree.gob.pe/servicioalciudadano/Documents/Listado_Ingles.pdf

4. A copy of your partner's birth certificate.
5. A certificate from the district's clinic - you have your blood drawn, they take an X-ray, and then you go back the next day where they 'counsel' you and give you your certificate. Supposedly, they talk to you about pregnancy planning and STDs, but they just explained our blood types and that was it.
6. A carnet-sized photo of each person, which can be taken at any photo store and most supermarkets.
7. A copy of your passport or carnet (more on that below) and copy of your partner's DNI (national identity card), both notarized.
8. You will also need two witnesses for the wedding, who should go with you to fill out the paperwork and bring a copy of their carnet / DNI.
9. Finally, the district will issue a marriage announcement that can be published in any newspaper. You have to buy the newspaper and bring in the entire page (no cuttings) with the marriage announcement to finalize your paperwork.

I have no idea what the administrative costs are to get married in the US, but here it's not too bad. The documents you need as a foreigner and the translation will probably be the most costly thing about it. From what I can remember, here were the costs of each step:

My birth cert and apostille were about $25 together, plus express shipping to my home state;
The record search and apostille for my certificado de soltería were $10 in total (but if you go to the US Embassy in Lima it'll cost you $30 or more);
The translation for both documents was S/.160 (about $50), but I was quoted much higher prices by other translators so shop around!;
The legalization fee was S/.33 per document, a total of about $20 (the costs add up for these documents for foreigners as you can see);
The medical exam was S/.35 per person, or about $10 per person;
The wedding announcement was S/.45, or about $15;
The fee for the municipality was somewhere around S/.200 ($70) since we were both residents of Surco and we had the ceremony during normal business hours. This included an extra half hour for a toast in the room where they do the weddings;
Plus a lot of money spent on taxis to and from the various places we needed to be.

You need some additional documents if you are divorced or widowed, but that's about it. Doesn't sound too bad, does it? The tricky part is in the fact that I have not once, ever, received correct information here the first time I asked. So you need to constantly be asking and double-checking to make sure you actually have all the requirements. For example, I was told using my passport would be preferable to using my carnet. I was doubtful, but since the lady insisted so many times that that was indeed correct, I used my passport number on the health certificate. Then, when we went to present our documents, she asked why my passport had no exit date written on my last entrance stamp. I pointed out that it was because I had entered with my carnet and therefore was allowed to be here until that was no longer valid. She frowned and told me that if there was no date on the passport stamp, I had to use my carnet. Cue incredulous look and strong desire to throw things. So we had to go back to the clinic and have them re-issue the document, and then return to the district office before they could reserve our wedding date. In the grand scheme of things, not such a big deal, but I was pretty annoyed since I had specifically asked this very question.

So there you have it! If you can manage to do all that without losing your cool at least once, then marriage should be a breeze.

La Feria Del Hogar

I'm just now getting around to writing about Jorge's and my experience at the new Feria del Hogar because I've been too busy I'm really good at procrastinating. There's been a lot of buzz, because it used to be the most beloved and exciting event of the year. Before the advent of modern shopping malls and the internet, it was the place to ooh and aah over the newest advances in technology and buy the latest housewares, as well as a place for the kids to go on carnival rides and stuff themselves full of cotton candy (presumably in that order).

Obviously, I wasn't here the first time around so I can't compare this year's version to its past iterations. But from all I've heard and read, it just doesn't compare to the original. There didn't seem to be too much excitement about it, and judging from the amount of people who were there on the day we went (a Saturday, on a holiday weekend), I don't think there will be a repeat event next year.

It just wouldn't be a festival without smoked pork.

The Feria was organized into large tents, with the concert space at the back and the carnival rides in the middle. There was art, clothing, housewares, a food expo, and a couple other things, but most of it was the same sort of stuff that you can find at other festivals or around town. The art was nice, but the clothes and jewelry were for the most part cheaply made and widely available in Lima; in other words, nothing special. The food tent obviously had a lot of great things, but nothing new. I got some organic chocolate and managed to resist buying a delicious raspberry liqueur.

There were a few interesting things on display, such as a mineral exhibit showing the minerals that can be found in Peru (silver and gold look pretty gnarly in their natural form). There was a nice but small display of traditional marinera dance outfits from different regions of Peru, and a short but well-done video looking back on the history of the Feria. I think most of the people there enjoyed the trip down memory lane, and for first-timers like me it was nice to have some perspective on the history.

 Traditional marinera outfit from Lima.

One of the highlights of the fair was the carnival rides. Peru has no permanent amusement parks, so any opportunity to go on rides is met with anticipation. Well, this was no Six Flags, but there were still some impressive lines and a couple of exciting rides. They say you become your mother, and if my stomach's reaction to the swirling rides is any indication, I can say that it's true. I remember when I was a kid going on all the rides at Valleyfair and swearing that I would never get motion sick when I got older. I didn't realize that "older" meant 26.  I think Jorge will be disappointed when we go to an amusement park and I have to wait for him from the sidelines.

 These guys had it in for me.

The crown jewel of the Feria, and perhaps the one thing that made it solvent, was the music. There was a great lineup of Peruvian and international artists, such as the British band James and salsa superstar Ruben Blades. We saw the Peruvian cumbia groups Los Destellos and Los Mirlos. There weren't many people there, even though so-called chicha music (the name for the unique mixture of Peruvian traditional influences and the cumbia rhythm) is very popular. However, the headlining artists attracted much larger crowds.

It's probably a good thing they're musicians and not fashion designers.

Then there was the food, which was a head-scratcher. There were rows upon rows of restaurants and booths, hundreds of chairs, and almost no customers in sight. The prices were steep and the offerings mediocre, especially with Mistura just around the corner. I had a pretty good paella, but it cost twice what it should have.

Overall, I was pretty underwhelmed. It was a fun way to spend an afternoon, but nothing out of the ordinary, and Lima has a lot of events and ferias. It would be a shame if the Feria's grand reopening closed after just one year, but I can't say I'd miss it too much.

Peruvian Independence Day!

Today is Peruvian Independence Day. On July 28th, 1821, José de San Martín declared independence from Spain, and ever since then Peru has had a proud but turbulent history. Unfortunately for Limeños, Independence Day falls in the middle of winter, which means gray, wet, and cold weather, hardly an inspiring backdrop for patriotic speeches. Too bad San Martín couldn't have won a couple months earlier or a couple months later.

 Military parade against the gray July skies

Today, the president gives his State of the Union address to talk about the achievements of the past year and planned programs and improvements in the coming year. So far, president Ollanta Humala has made some lofty promises, such as educational reforms and increased investment in education and teacher training, health care coverage for all Peruvians and complete pre-and post-natal coverage for mothers and children, increased efforts to eradicate corruption within the government and police force, and measures to reduce poverty. The promised changes seem very positive, but the sheer scope of his promises seem to set him up to fail. In my opinion, it would have been more prudent to promise less and deliver more, but politicians will be politicians.

I want to believe that positive change is coming for Peru, yet it is hard to be optimistic in light of the corruption and ineptitude of the government in the past three years of this administration, and previous administrations before this. The best ideas aren't worth the paper they are written on if they aren't carried out well. So far, the Peruvian people also seem skeptical of these promises, inspiring tweets such as, "I wish I lived in Ollanta's Peru."

But enough of politics, let's get patriotic! Fiestas Patrias is a time to celebrate what Peru has to offer, and it has much to offer. Aside from its delicious food and famous pisco sours, Peru has a wealth of traditions and cultures that other countries lack. Every region has its own dress, its own music, its own traditions that go back generations. I love the textiles and handicrafts and will never get tired of browsing the markets for pretty things, or watching the Afro-Peruvian dances or the marinera. There is an endless list of things to appreciate about this country, and today I'm proud to say I live here.

The lively and colorful danzas afro

Unfortunately, Jorge can't drink right now (doctor's orders) so he won't be able to join me in raising a glass of Cusqueña beer or a pisco sour, but I know that his sentiments are the same. ¡Viva el Perú!

Spending Holidays Far from Home

I've always been a fan of holidays. I don't go crazy decorating or bake crafty things from Pinterest, although I'm always game for a holiday-themed cocktail. Now, I love holiday decorations, I just don't like doing it myself. I let others around me make the effort and just enjoy looking at the fruits of their labor; I'm more of a passive holiday-enjoyer. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I like holidays a regular amount. Like everyone, I enjoy the time off and the long weekends, the once-a-year culinary delights and ensuing food coma, the whole hullabaloo. And I like the memories and the family traditions.

 No flags or lakes or family cabins this year. No happy dogs running around, no burgers and s'mores, and no card games.

Which is why spending holidays in a foreign country is weird. The traditions are different. Things look different. Your family's not there. And especially when it's a strictly national holiday (like the 4th of July), you don't get to enjoy other people's decorations. We've already established that I'm too lazy to decorate myself, so this year I felt a distinct lack of red, white, and blue around me. And that made me a bit sad. As far as I could tell, the U.S. Embassy in Lima didn't host any sort of celebration for citizens, and since I don't know too many Americans here I felt my patriotic stirrings deflate at the prospect of not celebrating the 4th. 

But then, Jorge and I received an invite to celebrate with some friends. Not just any friends, but my British friend Nilma and her husband Dom! We watched the World Cup game (in Spanish) and drank British beer. Not quite the holiday traditions that I'm used to, but it was great spending time in such good company and I felt immensely cheered up. After the game, we put on some Beach Boys and had a cookout, which felt slightly more patriotic.

The hostess with Jorge and me

 

While it wasn't quite the celebration I was used to, I ended up having a great time (and great beer - try Fuller's if you haven't already). Just goes to show that while holidays living abroad will always be different, they can be just as much fun.

The Terror of La Ducha Electrica

Anyone who has traveled in South America (and not stayed exclusively in luxury hotels) has run across this delight:

Yes, the electric shower. Mixing electricity and water sounds like a great idea, right? Electric showers are ubiquitous here due to their low cost and the limited space they take up. The alternative is a water heating tank, which is expensive and requires an area to put it in, which many apartments don't have. They come with their own set of problems (such as a risk of explosion from pressure buildup if you forget to turn them off after showering), but in general are far safer than the electric showers.

Well, most people tell me that the electric showers are perfectly safe IF they are properly installed. That's a big if, considering that jack-of-all trades handymen are a dime a dozen around here. I'm glad I was more naive while I was traveling, because thinking back on all those questionable hostel showers makes me shudder, and given the state of some of the hostels in general, I would doubt that they spent a lot of money on a licensed electrician.

I was inspired to write about this topic by events that transpired this week. (Hi Mom, nothing to see here, I'm perfectly fine!) We have an electric shower, and it served us faithfully for about six months and then simply stopped heating correctly. The water would come out either just shy of lukewarm or eye-wateringly hot, and since Lima gets quite chilly we decided it was time to remedy the situation. We bought a replacement part (something to do with the resistance and the cables that get burned out) and had someone install it. Then we tried it out. Blessedly, perfectly warm water! Oh, the joy. Until... wait, were those...? Yes, SPARKS coming out of the electric shower. So I hightailed it right out of there faster than Speedy Gonzalez. 



The solution? Well, we'll probably buy a new shower and hire a licensed electrician to install it. Although electric showers give me the creeps a little bit, millions of people use them every day and are still alive. We've been using ours for over eight months and only had this problem after the new installation. And if you're wondering what today's takeaway is, always pay the extra money for licensed professional.

One Year!

Two days ago, May 25th, marked one year of living in Peru. A year ago, I was just coming back from my backpacking adventures in Ecuador and Peru to settle down in Lima. I had a second family and a handsome Peruvian waiting for me, and I was eager to start my life here. I thought I knew Peru from my adventures, but I had no idea what the year would have in store for me. It's been a difficult road, but I can finally say that I feel at home here.

It was exciting and incredibly fun to be on the road, backpacking around, but I was really starting to miss having a home base. I wanted to nest, to buy pots and pans and cute mugs, and to unpack my things for the first time in five months. I wanted to sleep in the same bed every night. And I was very anxious to see Jorge again.

 

 I missed that smile.

Milestones

I remember how excited I was when I got my first job. In retrospect, it was a total grind and the pay sucked, but at the time I was elated. A year really gives a lot of perspective. And my first place: one room with a shared bathroom and claustrophobic entryway/kitchen space, with roommates allergic to cleaning and a car alarm constantly going off in the wee hours of the morning. But it was mine! Jorge helped me paint the walls, I bought a nice quilt, and I unpacked.

 Home sweet home with a new paint job and a new quilt!

I really struggled with homesickness and culture shock. I speak excellent Spanish, but the fact is that I will always be more able to fully express myself in English. I missed friends I could speak English with. In fact, I missed having friends: I got on well with Jorge's friends, but I hadn't really made any friends of my own. I was completely oblivious to the thriving expat culture here in Peru, and now I can't believe I didn't get involved sooner. In my desire not to be that person who only has expat friends and doesn't integrate into the culture, I isolated myself from people who could understand what it's like to be a foreigner. This year, I've made some great friends from all over the globe, and I couldn't be happier.

We've got three continents covered here. Missing from the pic: Jess to make four, and Tanya to represent Canada!

Then, Jorge and I moved in together in October. That was a first for both of us, and a big step for me. Where would we put all our stuff? What if we stepped on each others' toes (literally and figuratively, living in such close quarters)? When we finally decided to take the plunge, it was time to look for apartments, and oh what a headache that was. If money is no object, you can have your pick of modern luxury apartments, but personally I have no idea who can afford those places. The only people I know who live in that kind of apartment are government employees who don't pay their own rent. (Ahem, now you know where your taxes are going, US residents.) Otherwise, it is a long trudge through Sunday newspapers and varying degrees of disappointment. We saw a couple places that can only be described by the word 'squalor'. And they were still trying to charge $400 a month! Unbelievable. The good places that won't break the bank all get snapped up by 10 a.m., so you have to get up and get calling bright and early. Finally, after about two months of hunting, we found a small studio apartment in a great area and breathed a sigh of relief. We wake up to the sound of the birds chirping every morning, we're close to everything we need, and we can barely hear the famous Lima traffic.

One Year Later

After a year of being here, I finally feel comfortable. I can get around with ease and bargain like a Peruvian, and I know where to get a good bite to eat. I've learned so much Peruvian slang that I've forgotten the "correct" words. I love being by the ocean and never having to worry about snow. Or frost. Or ice.

There are still times when I miss Minnesota and San Francisco. Most of them involve food: ingredients I can't get here, restaurants I remember fondly, and American breakfasts at greasy spoons. I miss my friends and my family. I miss having a car, and being in a place where driving a car wouldn't scare the living daylights out of me. But at the risk of sounding sappy, I can say that Lima has slowly made a place in my heart, too, and has taken its place alongside all the others that I have called 'home'.